August 15th, 2015, aka the Start of Our Forever, part 4

The rest of the reception is a bit of a blur, with seeing all of our friends and family going through the line. I mainly just remember a lot of happiness!

After the line died down, it was time to party! Cam and I got some ice cream, then cut our cupcake! And of course, I smashed it in his face, cause what else would you expect me to do??

After cutting our cupcake, the doughnut pyramid was disassembled for the guests to partake! Then, I did my bouquet toss to Single Ladies! My friend Rachel caught the bouquet and she was pretty stoked!

Finally, time for dancing! We first did the father/daughter dance, which I basically the bawled through the whole thing. Thanks Dad...ha ha. Then Cam and his mom did a mother/son dance, which was adorable. Then, it was time for our first dance, which was to Alo Key's "The Day I Met You". I loved it! 

Enough with the mushy stuff, then it was time to party! We partied with family and my friends for like a half an hour, but then it was time to head out! Cam and I went inside to change and get our stuff and we came out to lines of sparklers! I loved it because Cam proposed with sparklers (a post to hopefully come shortly!). 

We finished walking through the sparkly line and I expected to see either mine or Cam's car decorated by our siblings, but to my surprise we had a fancy car being driven by my next door neighbor, Wendy, waiting for us! My mom had set it all up for us, as Wendy drives for Diamond Limousine.

It worked out perfectly, because I was worrying beforehand about what we were gonna do with our car the next day, as my mom was going to be driving us to the airport in the morning so that we wouldn't have to pay for parking for a week. So, we got in the car and enjoyed some sparkling cider in fancy glasses on the way up to the University Guest House (on the U Campus) where we were spending the night before heading off to Disneyland! 

Well, that's it! That is the story of our wedding day! Stay tuned for the next post that will have our temple and reception video! 

Research Paper Roughness

So I've been staring at either my computer or my Writing 2010 notebook since around 2 o'clock this afternoon. And it is now 10pm. I have finally written an intro to my 7-9 page research paper, but I have no idea where to go from here. 

At around 5pm, I decided I just needed to start writing anything that I thought down on paper, just to clear my mind a bit. It ended up being kind of a confession/vent to myself. This is what I ended up writing down:

I don't like to write. I don't feel like I am any good at it. And compared to the rest of my dad's side of the family, I'm not good at it at all. They are all amazing writers and I don't belong. I feel inadequate, like I am never living up to their expectations. I think that's why I always have trouble getting started and being motivated to write, because I know that when it's all done, it will never be as good as anything anyone else in the family has written. 

When I read what Mike commented about Tom, about how he was sad that he has missed seeing Tom develop into a talented writer, I felt crushed. He has missed seeing me grow up as well, but I've never been recognized. And now that I'm not going to Med. School and I'm not going to be a doctor, I never will be recognized.

I feel like I always have so many thoughts and emotions running through my head and I have no way to adequately express them, because when I try to put them on paper, they are all jumbled and a big mess. Dance used to be my outlet for emotion; I could just pound out my feelings and frustrations into the floor and it was like they wouldn't be such a big deal anymore. I don't have that anymore and I wish I did. I need an outlet so I don't drive myself insane. 

I don't know why I have a blog sometimes because I'm not a good writer. But that is also why most of my posts have pictures to go along with them. 

I have been putting off taking this class for 2 years now because of this insecurity/inadequacy. But I have to take it to be able to get any degree. I can already tell that the intro to my paper is not that good at all and just the thought makes me cringe. I am dreading writing the rest of this paper because I am afraid that it is going to be horrible and being a type A student, that isn't acceptable for me.

My Best Friend Abby :)

Meet my best friend/mini me Abby :)

I love this girl so much! 

So, our friendship started when I used to babysit her when she was little.

I also was in love with her cousin that lived in her basement. 

Then, I learned that she wanted to start clogging, which just made my heart happy.

So she did. And her feet have been flying ever since :)

We are kinda a little bit crazy together...

And there was a chocolate fountain, so we have chocolate on our faces :)

Every Sunday, she comes into my Primary class to say Hi before she goes to Senior Primary.

Yesterday, she wasn't at church. 

Cause she's in Alaska visiting her aunt. (The cousin I was in love with's mom)

It was super weird not seeing her!

One time a while back, Abby asked me if she could be a "flower girl" at my wedding. I then told her that I wouldn't get married for a while and that by the time I did, she would be old enough to be a bridesmaid :)

She is just about there! 

And we have discussed my far-in-the-future wedding plans and what food I have to have at my reception.

Because we both love food.

Hence the chocolate on our faces :)

Apparently I didn't get the memo...

After the Cottonwood High School Solo Competition, waiting for awards :)

At the Cottonwood Comp :)

Always dancing :) Girl after my own heart!

The cute clogging team! I love these girls so much :)

Dear Boys 13

Dear Slushy,

I'm sorry I freaked out and shut down. It's what I do. 

Love,

Becca

Dear Dishes,

You're rad. Let's be study buddies :)

Love,

Becca

Dear Crunch Wrap,

Where have you been?? I haven't seen you in like 2 weeks! What's up with that??

Love,

Becca

Dear Canada,

Thanks for being so awesome!

Love,

Becca

Dear Hank,

I need to come talk to you. Stat!

Love,

Your Utah Girl

Dear Pops,

Thanks for helping me with taxes :)

Love,

Becca

Dear That Kid,

Friends, yes? K, Cool.

Love,

Becca

Dear Britain,

I still am angry that I can't come see my girls, but your dancing is awesome. 

Go Extravadance!

Love,

Becca

Dear Green,

Welcome Home!!

Love,
Becca

Dear Boys 9

Dear Crush since 7th Grade,

First, your new nickname is Crunch Wrap. 

Second, spending more time with you has made me realize how adorable you really are. But I can't like you. 

I can't. 

Lets just be best friends. Done.

Love,

Becca

Dear Dishes,

I am jealous of your Spring Break adventures. You better tell me all about it on Monday :)

Love,

Becca

Dear That Kid,

I guess we are just friends. 

And I guess that I am gonna have to be ok with that.

Love,

Becca

Dear Hank,

I'm working on the roots. Well, at least I am trying to. But it's hard. 

It would be so much easier if you were closer.

Love,

Your Utah Girl

Dear Pneumonia,

What are your intentions here? Cause like I said before, you are very good at flattering women. So now, I'm just a little weary of the situation here. We can still be bros though!

Love,

Becca

Dear Obi-Wan,

I hope that you are doing alright. I am praying for you everyday. I know that you are an amazing missionary and that you have so many people here that love you and support you. You can do it!

Love,

Darth Vader

Dear Breast Friend,

A letter would be nice. If I don't get one tomorrow, I'm writing you again to yell at you. Jk Jk Jk! But I will tell you that I am a tiny bit disappointed I haven't gotten a letter yet. 

I miss you everyday. 

Love,

Tight Like Unto A Dish

Dear Britain,

I hate that you have taken over and made it so I can't come and visit the girls. I hate it. Plain and simple.

Love,

Becca

Dear Boys 3...and other stuff

So, I'm a couple days late on this whole Dear Boys thing because this week has been NUTS! Awesome, but nuts. 

For the first part of this post will tell you about my crazy week I have had, and then onto the lovely Dear Boysness :)

So, On Tuesday, I got home from school around 1ish and had some lunch, was going to go to the temple, but then decided to do my homework first. Then once I was done with homework, it was time for me to go to work. Work was super dead....till about 7. Then, like 4 families came in and another group of.....very odd.....adults came in to play laser tag around 8. All of the families left by like 8:30ish, except this weird group....who stayed until after we closed at 9. I was angry and tired. So by then, I just came home, worked out, and went to bed.

On Wednesday, school was alright. I love my New Testament class and it is always so spiritual, but that day, when I left the class I just felt down in the dumps, like I wasn't good enough or didn't know enough. It wasn't the best of days. So when I got home, I decided that I really did need to go to the temple, so I did :) It was just what I needed. I love the temple so so much and I really need to be better at going on a regular basis, because I haven't been in forever...like almost a year. Bad I know. Once I got home, I did my homework and by that time it was dinner :) After dinner, my most favorite person in the world, Bro. Hank Smith, was giving a fireside at the Prairie Stake Center, only like 10 minutes from my house. So obviously I had to go. It was so great and I was so glad to be able to see and talk to him for a little bit. After the fireside, everyone there wanted to talk to him, so myself, Michael, Cassie, and Lauren, all waited for people to leave before we went up to talk to him, so because of that, we didn't get home until like 10:15pm....whoops! So I didn't have time to write my Dear Boys post that day. 

Thursday. Oh Thursday...craziest, most awesome day of my life! So, I had school in the morning and I drove instead of taking trax because of all the craziness happening that day. I got to school around 7am for my institute committee (Spirit Of Place) meeting. Then I had 2 classes and got done at 11:35am. I then booked it up to the institute, changed into nice clothes, then drove to the airport. Why the airport? Because a couple days earlier my dear neighbor Wendy called me and her husband works at Diamond Rental Car and Limo Company. This week they have to have people at the airport to greet the passengers that are coming for the sundance film festival in Park City. They had 2 girls cancel on them, so Wendy was scrambling to find someone to help, so I did and got paid $10 an hour :) No, I didn't greet and escort anyone super famous, but I did see some famous people! It was fun, and I get to go help again on Wednesday. Then at 5:00pm, I left the airport and headed back up to the U for the institute welcome back carnival! And might I just say, that was a blast! There were blowup things, karaoke, just dance 3 on kinect, bean bag toss (which I was in charge of bringing), doughnut on a string eating contest, and then a dance that went till 11pm. Lets just say, I didn't get home until midnight. I was exhausted! Then, today, I had to wake up at 5am to get to my 7:30 class on time....I almost cried when my alarm went off. Then school was just long and boring, and now I am home relaxin' :) 

Now, for Dear Boys!

Dear Hank,

You are the best ever! I wish you wouldn't have moved so far away. I will try to come to your Thursday night classes, but it might not always happen. I will try though.

Love, 

Your Utah Girl

Dear Breast Friend,

It's been two weeks, and I haven't gotten a letter from you. I'm a little upset. But, granted, you are the one serving the Lord with all of your time and I'm just going to school, so I guess I could have written you again this week anyways, but I didn't. I'm sorry :( 

Love,

Tight Like Unto A Dish

Dear Institute Boy,

You make my heart melt. I wish I would've just asked you to dance last night, but hanging out all night was awesome :) You are the master of blowup obstacle courses, but I dominated at Just Dance 3. So we're even :)

I hope to see you tonight!

Love,

FB Stalker

Dear Crush since 7th Grade,

I haven't seen you and we go to the same school so.....I kinda don't care anymore....sorry! Ha ha, Institute Boy has my mind preoccupied ;)

Love, 

Not a Trax Buddy

Dear Dancing Man,

Dancing last night was fun, but kind of awkward. Just sayin.

Love,

Becca

I think that is it for today. Have a great weekend everyone!!

Late Night Break-down

I know it is late, but I just need to talk. Since I have no one to really talk to about things directly, this is the next thing that I can think of. 

I don't know what I am doing in my life. I thought that I did, but now, I really don't. At least not in my immediate life. Tonight, I was trying to figure out my schedule for next semester and nothing is working out. The guy that I met at the Pre-Nursing Info Meeting, and he told us to do things by email, hasn't answered any of my emails with questions about classes that I need to take and I need to sign up for classes next week. It is stressing me out, a lot. 

Then there is my job. I like it a lot, but I am not getting very many hours because of my school schedule being wacky and such. Also, I am only getting paid minimum wage, which is starting to be a problem, especially if I want to go to Nursing School in the future. With getting into Nursing School, I also really need to find a job in a hospital or doctor's office or something, which means that I need to get either my CNA, Phlebotomy license, or something like that, which will cost even more money...

I just really don't want to grow up right now. I still want to be dancing and having my biggest worry and stressor being if my ankle is going to hold up for competitions, or if our dances are clean enough. That is one of my true passions and I don't want to give it up right now. I just can't...but I don't know how I can still be on a team because of my age. 

Why can't I leave on my mission this coming spring, instead of a year from this spring?? It would make trying to plan my future so much easier! And I want to be out serving the Lord, just like all of my guy friends get to do right now. I feel like, I need a break from school right now. A mission would be a perfect break from it, because then when I came back, I could really be excited and appreciate it so much more again. 

I want to date. I think about it all the time, especially seeing couples walking around campus together. I mean, I don't really want a serious relationship right now because I want to go on my mission, but fun dating would be great. I just feel like such a loser a lot of the time because I do just go to school, then come right back home afterwards and then stay at home all night, go to bed, and then wake up the next day and do it all over again. And sometimes, It sucks. 

Well, I guess I really better go to bed now and hopefully tomorrow turns out better than I feel like today did.

Fall Break, Part 2

Well, I got about 3 things from my Fall Break To-Do List done...ha ha whoops! But then the next weekend I went down to St. George with my family and about 10 other families from my old dance studio :)

We drove down on Friday Morning after my Chemistry class was over and got there around 1 in the afternoon. It was so so nice down there! We went and hung out by the pool for the rest of the afternoon. It was so awesome! Then that night we went to Tuacahn and saw The Little Mermaid! It was so AMAZING!! They flooded the stage and had a curtain of water that they projected images on to make it look like they were underwater! So So Cool! 

 Me and Brother :)

 Flaspsem and Jepsen

 Flounder

 Ursula!

 Sebastian

 Ariel and Eric! 

 Scuttle!

And Us :)

On Saturday Morning, I went hiking with the Otto Family! We went up just on the top of the mountain that has DIXIE painted on it :)

 CeCe and Gracie :)

 The St. George Valley

The Dixie Mountain

After hiking, We chilled by the pool again. Then that night, we went and saw Thriller at Tuacahn! It was a lot of fun and the Zombies were so great!! I even made a connection with one of them ;) ha ha ha

 Some of the girls!

 Michael's first girlfriend ;)

 My Boyfriend! Who later was talking to other women and so I yelled at him ;) ha ha ha

 Michael's Second Girlfriend!!

 Again with the Second Girlfriend ;)

Thriller was so much fun! We then went and got Nelson's custard like always :) 

This was a much needed trip! It was so much fun being with all of the dance girls again! I miss them so so much! I just need to figure out a way to stay involved at the studio...ha ha ha somehow I will fit that into my crazy life!