Thursday, November 3, 2011

Late Night Break-down

I know it is late, but I just need to talk. Since I have no one to really talk to about things directly, this is the next thing that I can think of. 

I don't know what I am doing in my life. I thought that I did, but now, I really don't. At least not in my immediate life. Tonight, I was trying to figure out my schedule for next semester and nothing is working out. The guy that I met at the Pre-Nursing Info Meeting, and he told us to do things by email, hasn't answered any of my emails with questions about classes that I need to take and I need to sign up for classes next week. It is stressing me out, a lot. 

Then there is my job. I like it a lot, but I am not getting very many hours because of my school schedule being wacky and such. Also, I am only getting paid minimum wage, which is starting to be a problem, especially if I want to go to Nursing School in the future. With getting into Nursing School, I also really need to find a job in a hospital or doctor's office or something, which means that I need to get either my CNA, Phlebotomy license, or something like that, which will cost even more money...

I just really don't want to grow up right now. I still want to be dancing and having my biggest worry and stressor being if my ankle is going to hold up for competitions, or if our dances are clean enough. That is one of my true passions and I don't want to give it up right now. I just can't...but I don't know how I can still be on a team because of my age. 

Why can't I leave on my mission this coming spring, instead of a year from this spring?? It would make trying to plan my future so much easier! And I want to be out serving the Lord, just like all of my guy friends get to do right now. I feel like, I need a break from school right now. A mission would be a perfect break from it, because then when I came back, I could really be excited and appreciate it so much more again. 

I want to date. I think about it all the time, especially seeing couples walking around campus together. I mean, I don't really want a serious relationship right now because I want to go on my mission, but fun dating would be great. I just feel like such a loser a lot of the time because I do just go to school, then come right back home afterwards and then stay at home all night, go to bed, and then wake up the next day and do it all over again. And sometimes, It sucks. 

Well, I guess I really better go to bed now and hopefully tomorrow turns out better than I feel like today did.

1 comment:

  1. Dear Miss Becca Fotheringham.
    I think you should know that you are one of the greatest people in my life. I heard a quote today that said, "The greater the challenge, the more glorious the triumph." One day, soon, things will all start falling into place. You still have me to talk to! I love you very much. I miss you, and I honestly think you are one of those people who will do crazy amazing things for this world. You're just getting prepared for them. :) Love you Becca! Can't wait to see you. P.S. Saturday AND Sunday. So great. :)
    Love, Ashley


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